The Moments We Didn’t Sign Up For
Hello flower friend,
A very wise man (who was likely known to many of you reading this) once said that we can’t live life waiting for the moment when we sit down with our drink and turn on the TV. We can’t only be happy when we’re in that moment of rest or completion. Hearing this took me aback. I’m a future oriented person, and I often find myself utterly unaware of the present moment, obsessed with ticking off tasks until I get to my ultimate goal. This wise man was so right though: moments of completion or rest aren’t the only points of value in our life. If we aren’t finding value in those moments of work before the goal, we will waste the majority of our life.
Now I like work, but I most enjoy work that feels like the big tasks are being checked off, so prep work or cleaning up feels annoying. I live my working life waiting for the big moment when IT is done, and am generally unsatisfied and not mentally present during the smaller steps along the way.
Spring is all about prep work. Starting seeds is an exciting milestone, but I didn’t anticipate how many hours it would take until I could actually be in that moment of starting the seeds. One small prep task was hanging my grow lights on chains, a task I had put off for the entire five years I’ve been growing vegetables at home! As little sprouts grow, they need their grow lights to rise higher to accommodate their growth, and I had spent too much time balancing my trays of sprouts on Costco boxes of tomato sauce, and then taking out the boxes when the sprouts grew too tall. It was time to put the lights on chains so I could quickly hang them higher or lower as needed. Doing this required taking measurements, getting pliers, learning to open the chain links, and very clumsily closing the chain links onto the shelf with all the awkward angles of maneuvering two pliers on a tiny chain link while straddling my children’s legos all over the floor. All I could think of was, “I have spent my entire kids’ naptime hanging lights! This isn’t what I want to be doing!”
Those darn chains doing their job at last.
Inherent in every job, whether it’s farming, cooking, parenting, or construction, is a lot of time doing things that aren’t really what you’re in it for. I want to be in farming for the outdoors, the birdsong, the dirty hands, the sweat of physical labor, and the results of beautiful flowers. I didn’t dream of the aching hands I’d get when I continually missed the angle that would close the stubborn links of chain onto the shelf. This didn’t feel like what I wanted to do. It is a struggle for me to see value in the completed job of hanging the grow lights, because the ultimate larger job is putting planted seeds under them.
I need to follow the wise advice to not live for that final moment of completion. I need to not spend my spring tasks wishing for the moment of listening to summer birdsong while I harvest bunches of snapdragons. I have to feel value and worth in the smaller, repetitive, and frustrating tasks that get me to those bigger moments. Whether it’s hanging grow lights, washing the dishes, or choosing to respond rather than react to your less than darling (at the moment!) child, may we all find presence and purpose in these smaller moments of preparation. They matter too. And in the grand tally of our life, they add up more than any other.
Let’s make them count together.
Until next time!
Your flower farmer,
Meredith
Spring 2025
